You Make Me a Lesbian

I wish I was a lesbian,

And it’s all because of you.

You’re annoying

Egotistical

Hell-bent on men ruling the world

Annoying

Think with your dick at all hours of the day

Annoying

And seem to think the world revolves around

Making you happy.

I wish I was a lesbian,

Because women seem to know

More about romance than you could

Ever hope.

I’d find a girlfriend and we’d

Go on dates

Buy each other chocolate

And flowers

And porn

And please each other because all we have

Is tongue and fingers

And porn.

But then

If I was a lesbian

And only liked women

I wouldn’t love you.

And I do.

So maybe I’ll do what seems to answer

All problems

I’ll find a girlfriend, and we’d buy porn

And I’d be bi.